Finally a new pokemon for my party. A new friend :) and look everyone, it's gulpin! Isn't he a cute little jizz blob! I'mma call him Pudge, after the DoTA legend. He's a little a pudgy bloy. 

So that'll take care of my fighting weakness. And I found out after using sludge on a fairy type that he's also a fairy counter. Swell!

So I got to a new town and found the professor bitch guy. I whooped his bum with Bibarrel so he decided to give me a pokemon. I went with the classic: bulbasaur. 

Everyone always overlooks bulbasaur but he's a pretty blittle bloy. Him and his aptly bulbous forehead. So naturally, I named the boy Mudkip... and then released him. It was sad to see him go but it had to be done.

That makes two mudkips released to date.

So I was feeling really excited about my combee because a vespiqueen would cover my fighting type weakness perfectly. I show it to my roommate and he says, "you know that it only evolves if its female, right?" 

Never have I dropped the f-bomb with such vigor as I did that night. This game just hates me. I'm not paranoid; it actually wants to kill me in real life. I woke up the other night and it was standing over my bed just looking at me... Menacingly...

If I go missing, Pokemon X is probably the murderer.

I enter the new route and run into a combee! It's the perfect pokemon to counter my fighting weakness. 

I snag that blittle bloy and name him Marx. I also receive an experience share from the person who is going to be the next gym leader. And now I journey on... 

This game is just spitting in my face. Just after beating the big gym I discover that I can trade my ugly bunny to some guy for a flying type. I make the trade and say goodbye to Peter. 

It's still a normal type, but at least it's flying too so I'm not quite as susceptible to fighting types. It's a good day.

 

I apologize in advance about the crappy picture qualities on the next few photos. 

I entered the gym, palms sweating, with a bad feeling in my stomach. The pain of losing Spiff was still with me. But I grinded for a little while before entering so Peter and Chuckles, so I shouldn't be that afraid.

The battle went smoothly. Chuckles just barely managed to take out the leaders butterfly thing, and just to taunt me (like this game has done so many times already) it learned rollout right after the gym was done. That would have been useful a battle earlier. 

But I got my big badge and everything was okay. I took the boyz out for a roaring time on the town to celebrate our victory and then we headed on.

RIP Spiff

And it happened...

I ran into a riolu, and it didn't even have any fighting attacks. But Spiff tried to be a hero and then the riolu used counter and he was gone before I could even say goodbye. Sweet dreams, my little prince.  

Fuck riolu...

So I walk into the next route and you'll never guess what gem I'm blessed with. That's right, a retarded beaver with an overbite. I just keep getting normal types. Well I guess I can take the bidoof. After all, in the words of my father: "when life gives you lemons, suck it."

So I caught it and decided to give it the name Chuckles. So now I'm walking around with 3 normal types waiting for a fighting type to come along and have his way with me. I should go out and get one of those Japanese anti-rape condoms...

I finally got to a city with a pokemon center, so the first thing I did was walk in and give my Fenekin the boot. He'll wander the streets in search of someone who actually loves him. We will miss him, although we didn't really get to know him very well in the first place. He was the first to go, and hopefully the last (although I wouldn't mind having my Pansage die, the little asshole).

Spiff plowed through the forest and route after, and I picked up a pansage and bunneary clone along the way. 

Unfortunately, pansage is one of my least favorite pokemon because its such an ugly piece of shit, so I left it in my box out of contempt for it. I kept the bunnelby, though, and named it Peter (it's a rabbit. Peter Rabit. Like that one children's book. Lame, I know, but I suck at coming up with names). 

Finally, the long-awaited announcement of my first pokemon! It's zigzagoon! *audience cheers unenthusiastically* 

This took me back to a run I did of sapphire back in the day where my first caught pokemon was a zigzagoon which I named "Spiff." That spiff unfortunately died in the epic battle against my rival on the bridge after slate port. So to honor his service I decided to once again name my Zigzagoon "Spiff."

Although I'm just going to release it as soon as I can, I wanted to form a strong bond with my Fenekin, so I named it Mudkip. The little guy made quick work of my rival's grass squirrel-hedgehog thing and then I collected my 200 poke moneys for winning such a one-sided battle. 

After getting through all that bullshit with naming my character and reading the boring spiel about how the world is filled with pokemon and you gotta save it and all that jazz, they forced me to name myself AGAIN!

This time I was irritated so I wanted to put in the most inappropriate name I could find. Unfortunately, they severely limited my name input. But I got them in the end. Call me "ChokesOnCock." Take that Nintendo, trying to make the game child friendly.

It's always a difficult decision as to what you should go by, and rather than going with an inuendo-filled name I decided to go by Spaghett, after by favorite Tim and Eric character.  

It Begins...

Hello,

My name is Bram and you have somehow stumbled into my blog about my experiences in the new Pokemon game, Pokemon X. I don't want to waste time with introductions, so I'm just going to get right into it.

I decided to pick up the new Pokemon X game despite the fact that it will almost certainly interfere with my college studies.  Being the masochistic gamer that I am, the regular play through didn't sound exciting enough, so I decided to undertake the daunting task of a blind nuzlocke run.

To those of you unfamiliar with the run, here are the rules:

1. You are only allowed to catch the first pokemon you see on a route (if it is a repeat of a pokemon you already own you may catch the second you see instead).

2. If you fail to catch the pokemon, you are not allowed to try again.

3. If a pokemon faints in battle it is considered dead and must be released.

4. When (not if) you lose a battle, the game is over and you fail the run.

Additionally, I decided to add the extra rule to enhance the difficulty (remember, I'm a masochist):

5. The starter must be released after another pokemon is captured.

And if that isn't bad enough, I've also kept from hearing anything about the new game so that the run is entirely blind.

As a result, this blog will probably contain  profanity, not-so-witty-but-I-think-theyre-funny-so-shut-up comments, and a WHOLE LOT OF TEARS. If you still wish to read and experience living hell vicariously through me, then continue into the blog.

But you have been warned...